I watched The Greatest Showman at last today. PT Barnum apparently said that the greatest art is that of making others happy. I disagree.
I think that the greatest art is that of making oneself happy.
I have felt restless today – not totally happy. As if I’m waiting for something – some new adventure, some great miracle. Something book-worthy maybe.
Anita Moorjani (Dying to Be Me) says that being spiritual is the same as being totally, authentically oneself – because that is what spiritual really is about. And so – these days when I crave something more, something deeper and more spiritually significant perhaps – I know they are signals for me to come back to me.
Erich Fromm (psychologist, philosopher and many other things too) wrote that it is in the empty spaces inside us – the wounds if you like – that the light may get in. In this internal emptiness, we may, if we are brave enough to lean into it, he says, discover our true nature – beyond ego, beyond body – pure consciousness. Because consciousness exists in the spaces. Light may be found in the spaces.
And so, now, in the quiet of the evening, I lean into my empty space. I would like a sudden and dramatic moment of Enlightenment I think – Ekhart Tolle-style maybe – where, in an instant, self and life will never be the same again.
But – other than some superficial gesture such as shaving my already very short hair all off – I don’t think I’m going to be able to manufacture this one.
But then I remember compassion. And I think that restless is simply a feeling. As if something is a bit stuck. Which really – right now – I know it is. (I wouldn’t be sick at all if it wasn’t). So not only is the feeling justifiable, but I remember I’m not doing judgement of feelings anymore.
And, in almost an instant, restlessness turns to calm, emptiness to space, frustration to acceptance.
I have turned my energy to gold.
And, this time, the feeling’s a beautiful one.
New mum, old soul… Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)…