I have spent the day functioning on about three hours of sleep.
I’d been feeling very tired and burnt out yesterday morning. And also furious. I’m working with a wonderful and empowering new healer at the moment, who is doing an amazing job empowering me to self-heal again, and she tells me to connect up with Source for the answers to everything. Except that when I’m in a bad place, I’m so mad with the Universe that I block my own connection.
But I did manage to receive one message – and that was to open up. I was shown that when I’m tired and overwhelmed, I close up and shut down. I was told that I need to open up – to receiving again – energy, love, abundance, and anything else that I want. I was shown that shutting down is exactly what isn’t required.
To be honest, I was sceptical that the simple act of “opening up” was the answer to all my issues with overwhelm and burn out, but heard that I should just try it and see what happens.
So, following my sleepless night (albeit one that may have been caused by the late-night healing I did on why I was shutting down in the first place) I remembered that I musn’t shut down – I must open up.
I badly needed the Universe to give to me today. (I think that the first words I uttered this morning were kill me now…) and – to my surprise – it has.
I was gifted the gift of rest – with my baby daughter in my arms – most of the morning… as if she knew what was required.
I have been gifted a wonderful afternoon with a friend as we created our own mother-baby home cinema – catching up with films that we had both missed (thank you Netflix!) – and I felt not just like Mummy, but like Me.
My little girl has gifted me with smiles and cuddles most of the day (thank you little one).
And I feel tired – but not burnt out – this evening. And there is a world of difference between the two.
So, for all my rage yesterday – thank you Source/Universe…
And if Fibro is a kind of shutting down, then thank you not just for showing me how to receive from You, but for showing me how to heal – and it’s on the tip of my tongue to say from me. (Am I finally recognising the ways in which I have been hurting myself?)
New mum, old soul... Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)...