Today has felt way too long. And, this evening, if I am honest, it has felt like there are too many todays. It’s hard to see the light when you’re in the dark.
I went to bed and found myself praying. And the prayer turned into a conversation – with myself.
And I discovered that I believe that maybe, at the end of this long-feeling journey – the one which I’ve decided ends with my being all healed, happy, healthy, and successful in every area of my life forever more – I finally shine my light the way it’s meant to shine… That basically my light isn’t strong enough yet, and that’s why I’m still sick, tired and sometimes sad – so I can learn to glow brighter. (As someone recently pointed out to me – the people and healers who get interviewed by Oprah Winfrey are always the ones who’ve been through shit and emerge as shining lights for everyone else.)
But it comes to me that that’s not the way I want to be thinking about this. Because I know, on some level anyway, that really I’m perfect just as I am – with all my flaws and weaknesses – I’m perfectly human. And my light is as strong as I let it shine – it’s already there inside of me. Maybe it’s just that I can’t see it right now. And no sickness, pain, or suffering is going to make my light stronger – my light is me, it’s mine, so it must already be there.
So maybe the beauty that I’ve been missing today is me – shining invisibly.
New mum, old soul... Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)...