At some point in my meditation this evening, amongst all the other conversations I was having with myself, interrupted by only the occasional moment of mindful remembrance of what I had set out to practise, I found myself deciding to reframe my condition – to myself.
To be fair, I was inspired by my healer/mentor Dave Markowitz. He told me that I was already good at reframing things. This was after I told him that our recent three hour flight to Thessaloniki had taken a three hour detour to Athens, making it a six hour journey with a small baby and a very painful coccyx. On hearing of the diversion, it was clear to me that the only way to handle the bad news was to get excited – after all, I’d never been to Athens.
To cut my long story short, my short meditation became a long acknowledgement of all the things that I have already learnt from my journey with Fibromyalgia.
I’ve learnt patience.
I’ve learnt a not-insignificant degree of compassion – for myself and others.
I’ve learnt about surrendering to the Universe.
I’m learning faith and trust in that Universe – and in outcomes I can’t be sure of – every day.
I’m learning that light work, or healing, without engagement with and acknowledgement of one’s shadow is at best only half the story and, at worst, (and this is a hand’s up moment) makes things a whole lot worse.
I’m learning acceptance -ish… (still learning)
I’ve learnt my own strength.
I’ve learnt about my capacity to love others while in pain myself.
And I’ve learnt about responsibility – that it’s not about blame – it’s about response – acknowledging my free will, my agency and my ability to choose how I respond to things, even when I can’t control the things themselves.
I have grown.
And maybe there are easier ways to learn and grow – but I realise I don’t think so anymore. I mean – learning “patience” in the abstract? Surely that’s like saying you’ve seen Ancient Greece after stopping in Athens on a diverted plane ride.
I don’t think that struggle is beautiful. But I am coming to see that what emerges from it can be.
New mum, old soul... Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)...