Once again, I’m in awe of the beauty and transformative power of friendship and love.
Last night, I was, quite frankly, a bit of a mess – physically and emotionally.
This morning – still – I just wanted to make it through to the end of the day.
Tonight, I’m a different person inhabiting a totally different space – and maybe a different body too.
I’m still trying to work out exactly what happened. I think that perhaps it started with allowing myself to receive – love and empathy. Allowing myself to feel less alone. Allowing myself to give up the judgements. Opening up to all that actually is, instead of what I think ought to be… Allowing things to flow to me instead of shutting down in frustration and despair.
There were a few people who gave me love today – and they gave me more than I ever asked for, or expected.
Was it in the stars? That feels disempowering – defeatist somehow.
And I’m thinking that actually I reached out – in spite of myself – today.
I connected with these people in spite of how I was feeling and with little, or maybe no, expectation, and maybe that’s it – that sometimes you just have to take the first step. You just have to meet the Universe not even half way, but a step of the way – and sometimes it gives back to you manifold. Sometimes when you least expect it.
And now I’m wondering if that’s the key… To always be ready to step out, to expect nothing at all and yet to be open to receiving everything – and more.
What if – like a small child – I could let the Universe surprise and delight me everyday again (because I have no expectations of it)? Maybe that is one of the many things my small daughter has come here to teach me.
What if wisdom is in the not-knowing?
New mum, old soul... Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)...