I’m walking my (finally) sleeping baby up and down the pavement outside our house. It’s hot now, and I’m tired after walking her around for over an hour. I’m asking the Universe to show me something wise and beautiful.
And for a while it seems like maybe I’m in for a long wait.
And then I notice the silence.
And how still everything is.
I can feel my own presence. I am aware of myself in space in a magnified kind of way… My body, my thoughts, even my weariness, in the silence.
I think of Simon and Garfunkel – The Sound of Silence. And I try to inch my way into the sound of this silence – to really hear it and feel it. It’s a hot and heavy silence. Isolating, but not lonely. I feel myself to be the only one in it. I and my sleeping baby that is.
The silence is a magnifying glass for my own inner space.
Was it beautiful? I’m not sure. Only just not oppressive, it was, nonetheless, a new space. A space in which I could become aware of myself…
I’ll be honest, I didn’t feel beautiful – I felt tired, hungry, grumpy, and in need of the loo… But maybe beauty is a judgement call. So maybe, in its refusal to talk back to me, it could be said to be wise instead. In the non-judgement of me (a beyond highly-trained self-critic), the silence was wise – and beautiful.
New mum, old soul... Finding beauty, wisdom, spirituality, and opportunities for learning in the everyday (hopefully)...